DG03 and Me...

I haven't updated in a long time eh?

Funny that when I do have the time I actually have nothing to write. And at the moment I'm at wits end on how to continue my research essay for my Art Critic class. Yeah, that seems to always happen...when I got something to actually do, I end up doing something else. And the paper is due this Tuesday...oh crap...but come to think of it I do my thinking better at night. Go figure.

Anyhoo, what I wanted to share is what I've been feeling this past month. The month of April is an emotional month for me, not because of selling my toys or so...but the preparations of my final year students.

Yup, I've been working with two diploma final year students...so what's the difference? This sem its the batch, DG03. I posted once about this particular group a while back, and here its going to be a more elaborate story.

I've worked with DG01 (the first diploma batch of our faculty) and a few of them came back to continue their degree with us (yay!). Then it was DG02 (a rowdy and funtastic group of kids) and I bonded with them, to me and my wife they've become more like friends now.

So whats the difference you might ask about DG03. Simple. I have been with them since day one. My first day at our university was the first day for them as college students. And I have been with them for the last three years. Different classes, different subjects but the same group of kids.

Along the year I saw some not making it...some withered away and just disappeared and some had to defer due to financial matters. It was heartbreaking but, its all about perseverance...

And now these children who have grown into young talented people, are in their final year.

I have been working with them for these past few months on their final projects and I saw that they have grown. The have become bolder in terms of their work and brave enough to keep on seeing our dearest Puan Ellyna (our Programme Leader) which some of them are afraid of...LOL...but all I see is that she just wants the best for them...like any mother.

DG03 has and always be my dearest students. They have seen me go through so much as I have seen them. I have cried and I have fought with them through their toughest moments. They have been my constant reminder of being a teacher...a mentor...a friend. Sometimes I have my moments of whether I'm doing right as an educator and when I think of DG03...I know that things will be okay.

They worked with my beloved wife to give me a surprise birthday party...during one of my classes. A memory that I will never forget. Because it was honest and it was pure. I see them as glimmering lights in the darkness and I hope I am the same to them.

Right now I am counting the days. As I know, after this...they will be going their separate ways. They will go on to find their destiny and place in life. I might see some of them again, and I might not.

But what I know...I will try my best to spend as much time with them for these next few remaining days.

To my dear DG03, maybe I don't say it as much but I want you all to know that I love you all very much and I couldn't be any prouder of each and everyone of you. You have done well and I hope that when you take those steps into the real world, spread your wings and fly as best as you can.

Cause you are my children not by blood, but by the bond in our hearts. You all will forever be MY DG03.

And I wish you all good luck.

I will always be by your side, if not in person but in spirit.

Cecelia Ahern - If You Can See Me Now

Yes...it has been ages since I actually posted anything. Not that I didn't want to write anything, it's just that I never got to doing it.

Please, before anything...getting married did not make my life boring, actually it's more magical, adventurous and mesmerizing...so it was so much fun, I forgot to blog...hah!

Anyhoo, today's posting is something I felt like a story I need to share. It's not about Cecelia Ahern. For those who do not know who she is, well let me tell you. She's an author. A storyteller who wrote P.S. I Love You (the one that there was a movie made). I've read two of her books and I think she is a wonderful, creative and fantastic writer. (Among my favourites are Dean Koontz, Eric Nylund and a few others).

So why am I writing about this? Let's start from the beginning...

A few weeks back, I ran out of things to read. You see, when in the loo, I have this habit of reading. Some might think it as gross, but I for one dear people have been doing it since I found out I could do two things at once in the toilet. So don't judge me.

Looked around the house and I couldn't find any good material (I rarely read trash magazine cause they disrupt my 'flow') until my lovely wife pointed out a book. She said it was from the writer who wrote P.S.I Love You. Since whatever was inside me wanted to be out so bad, I grabbed it!

The title was 'Thanks For The Memories'. The first few pages was a bit slow at first but it got me hooked. Slowly as the pages got beyond the numbers of 10's to 20's...I was literally absorbed. Even when I was done in the loo I felt that I needed to read more, but I refrained. Hey, I need my reading materials to last you know. It took me awhile to finish it but it was a fantastic read. The book made me go on a roller coaster ride of emotions. But when I was done, it was satisfying.

Now...my dilemma came back. More material was required since I'm an avid fan of our amazing creation, the toilet. And not to mention having bowels with none whatsoever restraints.

That's where the next novel from Cecelia Ahern came to be. Titled 'If You Could See Me Now'. Read the synopsis and I thought maybe that it was just another love story. But as I read, it truly was more than what I expected. Not only it was an emotional joyride, it made me laugh...it made me worry...it made me cry...

In less than a week I finished it. It was that good. And unlike the feeling of satisfaction from reading the previous book...

I cried.

When the last page was turned and the last sentence read...I cried. Tears streaming down my face and I slumped myself into my pillow. My wife next to me just smile and giggled. But I didn't care. I felt that I had to cry. I had to let out whatever water dam that was blocking these tears. I cared so much about the characters that I could actually feel them. And that was something I have not felt for a long time.

I've read hundreds of books. But none I can tell you, none made me feel the way this one did. I connected with Elizabeth...I had fun with Luke and most of all, I understood and felt for Ivan. When reading the book, I was with all of them. I saw them moving, laughing, crying and smiling. To me they were as alive as anyone.

So when I finished the book, it was like saying goodbye to new found friends. We were so close, that I felt each and everyone of them.

So I cried after reading a book.

Not just any book.

A really good book.

Wrote by Cecilia Ahern.

If you're one of those who are looking for a good read and would like to immerse yourself in, pick up 'If You Could See Me Now'. And I hope you will have a great time and would feel the same way as I did when I closed and put the book down. I won't tell you the story, that's something you should do yourself. *wink*

My Students and I...

Happy New Year.

Yep, it's been ages since I've posted anything. Had a long posting recapping the events of last year, but I think I'll start with something more close to my heart. I just realised that after all this while, I haven't mentioned anything much about my dear students...

Well, after a series of comments on my Facebook status...and some events that went around last semester, I found out that my students are also a part of my life. Aside from going through this new life as a husband, I was happy to have this other group of people sharing this part of my life with me. They were there when I was single...and now married. They have seen me go through that part of life, as I have seen them grow in their life as Unisel students.

A few semesters ago, the first batch of FSSR (used to be FTSSI) students did their final diploma show, and there I saw those in DG01 did one helluva job. Their show was held in the main hall with no partition and nothing else. They had to come up with their own way to display their works...and they did it. They pulled it off. I couldn't have been any prouder. I know I didn't say it much to them on how I felt, but I do hope they felt it. Weird that I hooked up with these kids in their later semesters but they clicked with me good...They're a rowdy bunch, but hardworking..a bit blur on things sometimes but their heart is in the right place...And I couldn't be any prouder to see them graduate...and hopefully will continue their studies in degree...which as I type this, are already in.

Another bunch of kids are from DG02...now this kids are totally new in the beginning with me but instantly clicked. They're very-very close to my wife and she was the one that introduced me to them...And with one class with them, I saw a group that had a lot of potential. Heh...I know I don't know all of them, but I know that they're a good bunch of kids who just wants to do their best. And deep in my heart I believe they can be the best that they can. As I get to know them, the more I became fond of these fellas...and some actually chose me to be their supervisor and for me that is an honor. Sadly, during their final diploma presentation me and my wife couldn't be with them but somehow I think they knew that we were with them in spirit. And they did a spectacular show. We saw the pictures of their event and just like DG01, I couldn't be any prouder. I wished, people would take notice of them and get to know these kids and then you'll understand why I've come to be fond of DG02.

And the bunch that I've seen grow up literally in front of me is DG03...why? I have been with them since they joined Unisel. 4 groups, and only recently I met 03C...Despite being the last to meet up with me, they welcomed me and we bonded and now its as though I've known them just as long as any of the other groups. Along the semesters, I have seen them grow...some became better people, some didn't change and some dropped out...But one thing for sure is that I will miss them the most when they leave...Because they are actually the closest to me. They joined Unisel the same time as me. We share something. And yes, when I look at all of them I see my dear children. As I see them grow, they have seen the same with me. Currently they're doing their practical training and like every parent, I'm worried about them. Will they be okay? Will they be bullied? But I have to know that they'll be fine. And deep in my heart, I know they are.

As I mention of these groups and batches, I know that I'm not suppose to be too attached to students. Since students come and go. Juniors will replace seniors and so on. So being attached is really not good.

But, as usual...I don't really care. They are full of energy and life and being their lecturer and friend has taught me a lot of things. Most of all is humility. We must never think that our position is superior than another cause no matter how great you are, there are always someone better. And being humble will earn respect and makes you a better human being.

I've learned a lot about life ever since I became an educator and thanks to my dear students.

Hari Raya 2009

My last entry was a month ago. Wow. So much for wanting to post as much and as fast as, but I remembered me telling someone,'I blog when I have something to blog about'. And today I do have something to blog. It's about Hari Raya. My Hari Raya.

Why? Simple. This year is meaningful. Actually I have forgotten when was the last time I felt excited about Hari Raya, most probably during the times I could still get the hari raya 'angpows'. Hah!

But what I do know is that among the years, I have lost the feeling of excitement. The feeling of joy. The anticipation of 'balik kampung'. I have either forgotten or lost it. I don't know. I remembered on the first day of raya, after the prayers and gathering with the family, I'd just zip out and go watch a movie or something. It didn't mean much to me anymore. I guess I grew out of it.

Until this year. It was different. It meant something.

It's my first raya being married.

Never thought that being married would change so much of my perspective in life and among other things including Hari Raya.

I was excited. I was overjoyed. I couldn't wait to balik kampung. (Albeit at first I was reluctant...heh...didn't want to leave my toys and my new studio...) Hari raya shopping was fun and getting clothes for my other half was satisfying. The raya mood was seeping through my veins and I actually smiled to the thought of singing raya songs. Heck, I even got my students to sing raya songs and do a small show...for me! (well, they came in late and I had to think of some kind of torture...oops...I mean torment...eh...)

My first day of raya was really meaningful. For one I was celebrating it with my new family. We drove back to Rawang a day earlier so we can 'berbuka' together before raya. And the next day I indulge myself to my mother in law's trademark Laksa Johor (which is awesome...). Spent some time with my wife's family and later drove back to Shah Alam where all my sisters planned to meet up around the same time. It was a fantastic day. (Including our photo session...had to do it without help from anyone except a chair...and trying to get the perfect shot...hahahah)

After eating an abundance of food for the whole day...it was the yawning session...rice...not good taking in large amounts.

And some people were still hungry...

Next day we headed off back to my family's hometown, Terengganu. I was excited since bringing home my wife with me and I get a chance to show her where I grew up, played and enjoyed my simple life in Terengganu. And the best thing is she is a big fan of that little eastern state of 'keropok lekor' and Pasar Payang.

The ride was fun, we laughed...we joked...(despite me being the butt of the joke, thanks to my mum...) but I enjoyed it.

We stopped at our old house, mum would tell stories...it was...wholesome...

Next day in Terengganu we went to 6 houses...and thats a record! We stayed for 2 days and headed back to Shah Alam on Thursday. But before we left, the day before we went to pantai Batu Buruk to get a feel of the sand and sea...

It was a beautiful and meaningful trip. My grandparents were happy, my parents enjoyed themselves, my wife was happy meeting my relatives and...me?

I am contented.

Selamat Hari Raya to all.

And hope that your raya is just as meaningful and joyful as mine.

Starcom: The U.S. Space Force

When Starcom: The U.S. Space Force (a cartoon series in the late 80's) aired on the shores of our local television station, I couldn't help but fall in love with it instantly. I became more than just a fan but I was obsessed with the show. I remember it so well among all the shows because it had everything that I was into. And you can't help but become a fan to the fictional characters that was portrayed so well by their voice actors. Every week the Starcom forces would try to outwit and battle the Shadow forces.

I followed the adventures of Dash, Slim and Crowbar (field commanders for the three Starcom factions, the Star Wings, Astro Marines and Starbase Command) every week! My eyes were glued to the tv and tried to take in as much of its story and action as possible. I even taped it on VHS and would watch it countless of times and missing an episode was not an option! Every episode was new and the space battles were some of the most memorable scenes I can remember.

During its run on our networks, the toys came in as well. Sadly during those time, my family wasn't really well off and getting my hands on one of it was...how shall we say, something I can only dream of. Saved as much money and I finally got to buy one figure, and I have it till today aside from its weapons, the figure still looks good.

Wanting the toys so bad, I opt for another way to get it. I built them. Yep. I actually made them from scratch. I borrowed my friend's Starwolf and Starmax Bomber for a day or so and got all the measurements. Using cardboards and what other materials I could find, I made it. I had so much fun building it and working out all the details to work just like the real toys, except that it wasn't waterproof...hahahahaha

The cool thing about the Starcom toys were the Magna-Lock and Power Deploy gimmicks. Which worked with each other to activate weapons and doors. It was fantastic and up till today I still think its awesome. I'm sure that there are those who are fans of the show and totally forgot about it, but all I can say is that I am one of it's fan and forever will be. By luck I managed to get two of the toys which were my favs, the Starwolf (a friend conned me of it) and a Starmax (traded with a neighbour) and after hari raya with some money I managed to get the M6-Railgunner. (If you're wondering what I'm talking about drop by http://www.starcomspaceforce.com which has the most extensive info of the series). As I was growing up, the toys disappeared...and left no trace whatsoever.

A few months ago I manage to get my grubby hands a few of the vehicles and figures. Thanks to a few friends who looked out for me I got hold of the toys that I only dreamed about when I was young. So now I'm on the task of refurbishing these toys and at the moment have finished two of it...

Here were the conditions they were in when I got them (here's two from my collections that is)...

The Starwolf...

The Starmax...

Bad isn't it? Yup..if the toy is more than 10 years and was made in white...this will actually happen...So what did I do? Refurbish them that is...hahahahaha...you see what I've done to them at my other blog:

RK Designs

So there you have it...sometimes, patience is a virtue. After my long wait, I am able to have some of the toys and episodes from one of my favourite shows...

Starcom: The U.S. Space Force

SCRAMBLE!!!!!!

While You Were Away...

Usually when I'm left alone I'd be doing a bunch of stuff while waiting. I think its the 'I-can't-stay-idle' syndrome that I've had ever since I decided not wanting to be lazy anymore. But mind you that I do the occasional laze around sessions which I totally do not move a muscle.

Anyhoo, while I'm downloading some mp3's of an old album that I lost many-many years ago, I was blog hopping. Going to some of my friends blogs and also students (what a way to spend some time...) and at the same time thinking of how to execute my artworks for our Zirkon exhibit (yes...our dean gave us 1 year and as usual, we're doing it last minute...but hey, I was getting married okay...heh...).

I came across my dear sister in law's blog. Her last entry was on the 12th of Aug 2009. I read it and it was a really short entry but somehow it struck a nerve with me. The nerve was struck strikingly hard that it vibrated through my head for quite a while...

She had finished reading a book by Mitch Albom titled 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven'. I have never heard the book but I think I have come across the title somewhere, but she quoted something from the book...

Holding anger is a poison.It eats you from inside.
We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us.
But hatred is a curved blade.
And the harm we do,we do to ourselves.

Those words rang quite true in me.

I guess it hit close to home. Very close.

As some of my friends could attest or vouch, I can be quite temperamental (a nicer way of having trouble with anger management...or...well...you know...). Came to my mind was two incidents that almost cost me a lot of pain being put upon certain individuals. Yes, I was at the verge of slugging them full force on the noggin'.

Actually there was a force that saved me for unleashing my ever expanding rage...hahahaha...yes, I kid you not. And I came to a conclusion that God interrupted me in some way. Saving me and also saving that of those who were nigh close to being clobbered. That got me to thinking, why? Why did God played his hand in it?

Then I remembered a dream I had. The dream involved someone close and has the same temper as me (or maybe more...we never gauged that...haha) but in the dream he was shouting, swearing and was reaaaaalllyyy pissed. And I remember that I felt fear. Is this the feeling people around me get when I get angry?

Then it all came to me. God saved me twice. From actually giving in to my anger. Why? Because I now have someone that I need to take care of. And not just her, but a few people that rely on me. If I actually gave in, the repercussions of my action will not just be on me alone, but all those who I love and care. And that, I am thankfully to Allah the Almighty in saving me.

Alhamdulillah.

As I have always believed, He works in mysterious ways.

Thankfully I saw it before anything that I might regret happened.

And I need to change.

For the better.

What's Up Duck?

Hideeho...how long has it been since my last entry? 3 months? Yup...that's about it. No wonder my wife was complaining that I haven't blogged. Well it's not that I don't want to blog, just didn't have the words to ramble or type about.

Oh yeah...

I got hitched. Yup. Married last July 4th 2009. Heh...it was an amazing journey from the preparations to the day itself. There were a lot of challenges (mainly financials...others were fine) but thankfully with blessing from our parents and Allah the Almighty...we're now husband and wife. Our engagement was on the 10th of May and we had only less than 2 months of wedding preparations. God knows how hectic it was and how trying things was for us. I remember I was missing my dearest fiance since she had to go back to her home in Rawang for the preparations, and there were a few instances that we accidentally hurt each other with words...trust me, no matter how strong you think you are, when your readying for marriage...anything can happen...

It's been a month plus I've been married. Had to make some changes especially to myself and had to adjust to a few things as well. Remember, I'm not alone anymore...I come in a pair...LOL...

Here's some shots of the wonderful and amazing days that me and my wife went through...

Engagment 10th May 2009

Nikah 4th July 2009, 11 a.m.

Reception 4th July 2009, 8.30 p.m.

Bersanding 5th July 2009, 11 a.m.

Who came? A lot of people. And I mean a lot! On my wife's side there was about 1000 people invited and on my side almost that much. But the best thing was those who came were those who are close to my heart. It meant a lot to me for them to be at my ceremony. Close friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues and also our students came. It was magnificent.

My dear students which came...

I was truly honoured by my new family. The whole reception that night was something I never thought I would go through. They have accepted me with open arms and I couldn't ask for more. No matter what, I will never ever forget those two wonderful days where I became more than a man, but someone's husband. A role that I have longed and dreamed for. And I finally am. I know its a big responsibility and I hope that will fit the role and soon another role, a father.

What are my feelings? A mixed and jumble one that is, but its more to happiness...proud that I took the step and joy that I chose well. I thank Allah for what he has given me. Everyday...Every minute.

My wife, my love and my life...Irina Hariati, you are the best decision that I made in my whole entire life. The hurdles that we went through to be together and the life we lived till we met is something that I do not regret going through. If not for the life before us, we would not appreciate each other and love each other as much. I am thankful. I am complete and I am contented. You have given me the world and much more, and I would like to be and to give just as much if not more for you my dearest wife...

So until my next entry...I bid you all adieu...

The new groove has come...and I'm sailing through it with my eyes and heart open...