Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My Cousin Ahmad Fakhruddin (D.D.)

Hello all,

I was blog hopping as usual cause I remember a posting about my late cousin that I posted a long time ago. It was on my Friendster blog, but it was deleted due to inactivity. In the years I thought that the post was lost since the original text itself was gone.

Until today...

Yes apparently the posting was transferred to another account of mine and I found it...and I would like to share it with you all...

The post was dated 1st July 2004 which was three days after he passed away...



Hey everyone…I’m not used to posting things but I thought of wanting to share something with all of you… On the 29th of June 2004, my cousin, Ahmad Fakhruddin b. Samsudin passed away. He passed away due to some heart complications. He left a wife and a daughter and he was only 23+ years old.

When I first heard the news from my mother, I couldn’t shake off the shock that was going on in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he was gone. As my mum left me in my room…I cried. He wasn’t just my cousin, he was my unofficial brother. His real brother, him and me were known to be the 3’s Stooges in our family. Despite being only cousins, our bond was just as close as we were real brothers. Whenever I was back in Terengganu, all three of us would get together and do the most craziest things. When we got older, we spent a lot of time talking about our lives. Even though we were but phone calls away, but being around one another was the best. We would talk about our dreams, girl problems, anything to seriousness until nonsensical stuffs. But the times when we were together felt like hours. We’d hang out near the pier at night and talked. Drove around and ‘kacau’ the ‘bapoks’…it was the time of our lives.

Now, he’s gone. No matter how I look at it, he's really gone. During his funeral I kept looking around maybe he would pop up and laugh his head off saying it was a prank. But seeing him on the bed. Lifeless…it was true that he has left this world. Before his burial, I gave my last respects and kissed his forehead. It was cold. How can a body so warm and full of life now be so cold. His brother held my hand and we held each other looking at our brother. It was goodbye. It was the last time, the ‘3’s Stooges’ were together.

Until now as I’m typing this out, my heart still aches. There were a lot of things that I didn’t get a chance to say. But the most is ‘I’m sorry…’ and ‘Goodbye…’ When his body was taken into the earth, I looked on. I looked around and saw the people which lives he has touched. He may not have had a high education, but he had a heart bigger than anybody else. He’s responsibility to his family has always had my respect. He loved his wife and he loved his daughter very much. He didn’t say it, but he acted upon it. And actions do speak louder than words. He had the biggest laugh among us, and there were times that he would talk to me about his problems. Being afraid for his daughter, afraid of what kind of husband and father he would be. But I always told him that he did fine, and there was nothing for him to worry about. Due to that, it shows…what a responsible and loving person my cousin was. D.D, my brother…I’ll miss u a lot…and there won’t be a day from now on that I would ponder on my own mortality and the times we had together…

You’ll always be my brother…

Al-fatihah…

And as I read this again after all these years...I still feel sadden by his passing. I still feel that he was still around and would call me out of the blue just to talk...His passing reminds me of our mortality and what we would like to be remembered for when we are gone...

Even after 6 years...I still miss him.

Friday, September 24, 2010

JUSTIFICATION THROUGH RETALIATION

Hello all...

It has been awhile since I've written anything here. Guess there weren't anything to write about until...

today.

Why you might ask? oh...it's nothing...just a retaliation of some wrongly written things about me. The writer. The current blogger for Goofing Grooves. Moi'.

Okay. Where should I start. Should I copy and paste what was written? My mum says...'yah...u shud.'...

here it is...

I was with this one guy for a few years. I can consider him as one of my serious relationships. He almost fulfilled the requirements that I need in a boyfriend. He was sweet, funny and cute. We even talked about marriage and stuff. But the thing is, he was too immature for me. And his sisters hated me so much and seriously, until today I don’t know why. One of his sisters even tried to do something bad to both of us, and she succeeded. During that time, I was the one who constantly spending my money whenever we go out. Yeah, he was sort of a cheapskate. But I don’t blame him totally, both of us were students at that time. He also controlled my life and he didn’t even like my best friend, and I’ve known my best friend first before him. So, I dumped him. A few years later he did call and ask how was I doing, we both didn’t want to hold any grudges etc, so I treated him as a friend and vice versa. Then, he went MIA for few years, and called me again after I got engaged and that time I think he wasn’t that sincere of being a friend and he actually doesn’t really care if I’m doing ok or not. Because you see, on that both times when he called, he was actually telling me that he has a girlfriend! I mean, he called me only TWICE, YEARS apart from each call and on both times he told me that he has a girlfriend. If you’re truly a friend, you will call me, maybe like once a month to say hi and stuff, right? And he bragged about his relationship and even shared some intimate stuff about his girlfriend with me. WTF?? I don’t know what he was trying to prove. And one thing that makes me want to hate him again for being so immature, he got married just two weeks after I got married! I was in a relationship with mr raiders 7 YEARS before we got married. And this ex of mine got married to his gf just after months of courtship! Memang la org kata jodoh kat tangan Allah, but gimme a break! All that I can see and assumed from my point of view, his ex probably didn’t want to get married early, so he dumped her and knowing that I was getting married, he quickly proposed and marry his new gf so that he can show me that he’s also married. I know I sound so perasan but can’t you get married in 2-3 months time or the next year? Why the date have to be close to mine????

Oh well, syukur sangat I didn’t marry him.

Thats the gist of it. How I knew about this? Well, a personal friend called me up a few hours ago. And told me to look it up. He even texted me the link! (Such a good friend...if you're reading this...thanks bro!)

After reading that (the text colored red) what do you all think? Sounds amusing at the same time eh? I was angry about it. Yes I really was angry. After so long of not feeling this anger, I actually didn't know how to handle it.

I guess what I'm writing right now is purely for justification. I mean...I'm shown here as an 'asshole' and...I got a reputation to keep right?

Alright, let's get down to business...

First and foremost, I don't remember chasing after this girls tail. She was chasing me. Leaving written messages on my dad's car and all...LOL...imagine the look on my dad's face. So there, I felt that I was obligated to attend to this girl's attention. We became a couple. What can I say from this coupling?

Fun. Adventurous. Thrilling. Until...

Yeah, when the fun was over...when the ugliness of oneself starts to show...

It was said I was a cheapskate...That's partly true. I was a student and I believe that I shouldn't spend my money on trash. (oh did I say trash? oops...) I guess she forgot to mention that when I started working I was literally funding her. Yeah. Bought her stuff, paid for things...the usuals, paying the cover charge for those stupid clubs. I hated it, but I still went and paid for the sake of...*gasp* LOVE? hahahahahahahahahahahaha

My sisters didn't like her...well, they still don't. Get over it!

I'm immature. Heck I still am! But when it comes down to things, I man up. Unlike some people who writes about her past exes and make them sound like the victim...oh boo hoo! Now who's immature? Is it still me? Hah!

I controlled her. Wow. That's a big understatement (know what that word is?). It worked both ways my dear. You controlled me, I control you. Even steven. You just didn't get it. Bet you do now eh?

I called TWICE and told her I had a girlfriend at that time cause she asked. Wonder why that slipped from her statement. Oh yeah...the victim. heh. So what was the reason of those calls? Let me remember...

1 - To ask an opinion about something that I can't remember.
2 - To say condolences about her mother's passing. (good grief...someone calls you to say that he's sorry about that and you only thought that he was being an asshole...wow...have some respect woman!)

but this is the best one...

And one thing that makes me want to hate him again for being so immature, he got married just two weeks after I got married! I was in a relationship with mr raiders 7 YEARS before we got married. And this ex of mine got married to his gf just after months of courtship! Memang la org kata jodoh kat tangan Allah, but gimme a break! All that I can see and assumed from my point of view, his ex probably didn’t want to get married early, so he dumped her and knowing that I was getting married, he quickly proposed and marry his new gf so that he can show me that he’s also married. I know I sound so perasan but can’t you get married in 2-3 months time or the next year? Why the date have to be close to mine????

heh...when I read this I was the one that went...WTF?!

Well, I would assume that 7 years was the amount of time that she needed to mature and realising that she needed to get married. Or needed to save money...hardy har har

I for one didn't give a rat's ass about when she was getting married. I didn't even know when she was getting married until I was already planning for my date with the 'kadi'...AFTER OUR ENGAGEMENT!

I left my previous ex because...YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH! it was mutual and we parted well. Unlike that person who left me for dead for the next two weeks...

Yes...you are that perasan la...get over yourself la.

And from what I can see, you still have problems believing in GOD...ALLAH THE ALMIGHTY. Know him? He is the creator of all life...that includes you and what ever you shoved up in your mouth...

Oh...who the FUCK are you to set a date when people should get married. Geez...

Now let's go into some facts that she has...forgotten to mention.

- didn't mention that I spent shitloads of money on her when I was working.
- abusive. physical. yes. if i'm not mistaken, you're the one that punched, kicked and pushed me down the stairs. say whaaaaaaat?
- stupid. yes. you. were.
- you were the one that wanted to get back with me after dumping me...sad ain't it...

Yes she said about not holding grudges and all, but don't you think that she's doing that right...wait for it...about now?

I'm the type that don't write about this kind of things. Especially about ex-girlfriends. Why? Cause I think it's just not so cool. And please la. The past is the past. It's been years...I mean almost a decade. Why do people cling on things like this? Guess some people don't mature as well as I do...eh wait...I'm immature...so that means...oh...I'm wise...yes...like Yoda wise...LOL

Before I shut down, I just wanted this person to know that I never held any grudges when she was seeing another guy behind my back (ANOTHER FACT!) and I'm only doing this in retaliation. That's all.

Oh...one more thing...

After a lot of pondering years before...you're the rebound girlfriend. I never said it or mentioned it cause it was...not cool.

And...

yes...thank ALLAH (remember HIM again?) that we're not married....and another thing, I married the most AWESOME woman in the world. Something that you will never be.

Cheers!