Backflashing and Autobots...

It's 4 a.m in the morning...

I finished building another tank for a friend of mine and now my brain is kinda 'up'. Actually I wanted to post earlier but I got hooked up on something else...so when's a good time to blog?

4 a.m...yeah...

Well, it all started a few days ago...lately I've been having flashbacks of my childhood. It's like when I pass somewhere and it just triggers it. And I can actually feel the emotions at that moment...

You see...when I was in primary school I was a victim of bullying. Yes. I'm not ashamed to admit it. In the last two years of my life in primary school I was called names and pushed around by so called, leaner, faster and cooler kids.

Let's start from the beginning...you see, my education started abroad. So when I came back to Malaysia, I was in the mid of the year and enrolled in a normal school. The first day of school was quite horrible that I was culture shocked. And that my dear readers was how I became the fat kid of the class and later school.

I was always last in whatever sports involved running. I was chosen last when we had soccer matches, and sometimes I was only picked since they wanted to just kick the ball AT me...not TO me. It was tough. Due to my size, even some teachers thought I was dumb. I didn't excel at anything and later the kids found a nickname to call and tease me. I was the kid that just wanted to be with friends. To play around...talk and have fun.

I thought wrong.

In standard 5 and 6, I was tormented. Somehow those kids forgot my real name and kept on calling me by that ugly nickname. But me, wanting to be friends...I let them. It hurt my every being. And I got fatter and fatter. I remember my mum saying that I was becoming selfish when it came to food. She was right.

I was fat, ugly, selfish and stupid.

But you know who actually kept me from my path of self depreciation? From further falling into a place where I would never be able to crawl out?

Optimus Prime and his Autobots.

Yup...the fictional character from a cartoon series. And among a few more shows...and their toys. They were the ones that kept me from bad to worst. No matter how bad things were at school, I knew when I got home my 'real' friends would be waiting. My own world where the only limit is my imagination. As soon as I step foot into my room, it becomes another world. Where there are heroes...where good will always triumph. The bullied are safe from bullies.

Why didn't I tell my mum about what I was going through? I guess I wanted to fight my own battles. I didn't want to be the boy who cries 'mama' each time he faces a problem. My mum only knew many years later of my ordeal and she wondered why I never told her.

Later in highschool it was totally different for me. But that's another story...

What I'm trying to say is that toys helped me a lot when I was young. It not only gave me the power to imagine...to be creative...but it also helped me by being my friends when I felt that I had no one. They played out stories that made me laugh and cry. They took me on adventures and expeditions...Where I learned of true friendship and responsibility.

Toys weren't just plastic that I play with, it was a part of my life. A part of me growing up.

Yeah, maybe I was a victim of bullies in school...but if that didn't happen...

I would have never had Optimus Prime and the Autobots as my friends.

I became who I am today if not for the things that I had to go through.

And I am proud of who I am.

Till next posting!

Quitting For Now

Yeah...

Once reading the title you all might be pondering what am I quitting...heh...

Actually this has something to do with my previous posting. Yesterday my wife and I went to meet up with our housing agent and fill in the forms for the loan. And another super news came from our agent stating that there's another unit that if a client of his cancels, will be available by next year in May!! And not to mention an end lot unit!! If things weren't getting better...Alhamdulillah...

That comes to what I wanted to share...I'll be quitting from collecting toys and models, for now that is. I've told my wife that my last item would be one more figure that will be released only next year. After that...there won't be anymore.

I know, some might scoff at what I'm saying...I know...especially my buddies in the world of toy collecting that is...to them, the idea of quitting is just in the head...LOL...

But I'm serious this time around. I guess my priorities are different now then it was before. It used to be trying to get the best figures or the ones that I liked, but it's different as I'm living my life day to day. I remember when I used to dream of being married, having a nice landed property with kids running around...yeah...and I'm living through it now...

Getting married and buying a house really changes your view on life.

The question of why has a pretty simple answer. I want to make my home beautiful. I want to furnish the living room with exquisite furniture (I have my eyes on this awesome 5K sofa from Harvey Norman) and design my studio as how I have always seen it...

My priorities are to my growing family and our home. To make life better and to make sure that my children grow up as I grew up...enjoying their childhood...run around the grass and have adventures that only their wonderful minds could create...

Once in awhile I might pickup a figure...but it all depends on wether I still want to or not, it is now by choice...

For now, Master Chief and Cortana has found their home...in a new colony outside the outer rims...(actually Puncak Alam isn't as far as some might think...)

And hopefully once we've set up our new base of operations, there will be little Spartan II's making it a much livelier place...

I thank Allah the Al-Mighty for giving us this chance. And hopefully I can also be a better Muslim, husband and father...

The Goof Groove Mood...

Heya peeps...

Yeah..its been over a month. Well, the last post was a day before my birthday. I'm 33 now. Yep. Yessirree...33 years old. But to reach that particular birthday was a roller coaster of a ride. It was the most challenging 3 weeks for me.

I'm still 'ere. Means I survived it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

And yes. I do feel stronger. More confident. More assertive of myself.

Someone asked me if I've stopped blogging, well actually not that I've stopped...I'm just lazy sometimes...and I think if I wanted to write about something...I should write about something that matters.

From the date of my last entry there were a bunch of stuff that went on. Good stuffs. One of it was receiving almost 200+ birthday wishes on my Facebook page. All I can say it meant something to me. Each and every wish was replied. Yep. Each one. But it was worth it.

But the one thing that I'd like to share is that my wife and me have...(FINALLY)...been able to procure a house. With land. Eventhough it'll be ready in almost 2 years, it will be worth the wait. God knows our search for a house that was within our price range was getting depressing by the day. We had to take into account of a lot of things...distance, area, pricing, developer and so many...dear God...so many other reasons. Last weekend, we found what we were looking for...but it was all sold out...but we still gave our names for the waiting list and quietly prayed that there was something...a unit at least for us.

Last Tuesday was considered the downward spiral for both of us into the depths of depression. Yeah, we were tired and weary of going to and fro to areas and show houses. As the end of the day was coming to an end...my wife looked as though she was going to burst into tears. But I kept on telling her that there is a house...waiting somewhere for us. We just need to keep our heads up and hopes high...All she said was, 'You're a very optimistic person Yayang...I love you'. I guess, learning to be optimistic was a very long and painful journey and it must have been for the days that I go through now...

But then...a phone call I received the next day made both of us realize, that being optimistic and believing in God has its rewards. We got it.

We got a unit. And not just any unit...the one we wanted. The bigger one.

My wife felt like a heavy boulder has been hefted off her and I felt a kind of relief and joy of this sudden amazing news. Then we started imagining on the stuffs that we wanted to do, until to a point that my dear lil' wife couldn't sleep. She was that excited!!

It'll be a bit far, but I think we'll manage. So in 2012...insyaallah, we will be residents of Shah Alam 2, Puncak Alam...a beautiful and breathtaking place surrounded by green and fresh air.

And for the past few days, I've been a bit lazy. Lazy to do my commissioned works. Not that I'm purposely not wanting to do it...it's just that I wanted to take some time off...I'll get cracking on it very soon...but for now...

I just want to goof with the groove...